So…. I have been planning a wedding.
Let me tell you how this adventure has gone so far. Being who I am. I, of course, came up with the brilliant idea of having a medieval wedding. That doesn’t sound complicated. Most people would say it sounds rather fun.
Now, I had visions of beautiful dresses. Men in fancy jackets with gorgeous boots. Swords dangling from their sides. Maidens all in a row. The officiant in monk robes. Flowers as far as the eyes can see. Flickering candles marching down the aisle. Notice… I said HAD.
We have had to contact other countries for clothing! A large portion of garments will be coming from the UK. A local search for fitting clothes yielded absolutely nothing! We have one seamstress in this town, and she only does alterations. The one wedding shop we do have caters to the strapless mindset. I am far too old to rock the strapless look.
Once upon a time I would have naively believed wedding planning would be fun. I’m still trying to decide whether there will be centerpieces, or if people will get to stare vacantly at each other across the table. The vacant option is winning! Simply because I won’t have to look at any more flowers. Death by Flowers – the new message for my tombstone.
Don’t get me started on wedding invitations. There are invitations to be sent to the bridesmaids and grooms men. Asking them to be bridesmaids and grooms men. There are save the date invitations. So people are forewarned a year in advance. There are invitations to the wedding ceremony, and invitations to the reception. There are RSVP cards to place in the invitations.
Ah…and the guest list. Let me tell you the joys of the guest list. First you write down everyone you’d like to invite. Then, you review the list because 1500 people is far too many to invite. Especially when you’re attempting to keep the budget in check. You slowly remove people from the list. Who will show, who won’t show, who will embarrass you, who you’ll let embarrass you, who will drink too much, who won’t drink enough. All the pros and cons and…ugh!
You finally dwindle the list down to a manageable number of people. Then you realize you forgot Aunt June and Uncle March. You can’t forget the fireman who saved your cat 50 times. There are co-workers and friends. Family you like and family you don’t. I just want to throw all the names in a hat and pick 50 people. Someone is always going to be upset because you didn’t invite them. Then there are those who get upset because you did.
Oh, and finding a venue! That has been an adventure all its own. The place you really want, of course, is already booked. The place you really do not want is available from now until forever. Probably because no one really wants it. Then there are the places where you can hold the ceremony but not the reception, or vice versa.
An October wedding adds a challenge. It tends to snow here in October, and always around Halloween. So an outdoor wedding, while preferable, is out of the question. Although I would do it, just to see the false teeth chattering. An indoor wedding means decorating. Lots and lots of decorating. Some venues you can have a couple of days to decorate. Others, you can decorate the night before but all decorations have to be removed by midnight the day of the wedding. I’d hire a decorating firm if such a thing existed in this town.
And then the honeymoon. I love the idea of a honeymoon. Escaping the rat race which lead up to the wedding. Running from relatives and well-wishers. Going someplace where someone else cleans up the mess. Such joy, such bliss, such bull s***. The only thing we’re going to want to do after the wedding is sleep for a week. By the time out of town family leaves, the whole wedding paraphilia gets put away/given away and a sense of normalcy returns. You better just give me comfy clothes, a couch and a remote.
Let’s not forget about registering for gifts. We’ve lived together for so long we have everything…plus lots of extra. Any gifts we’d receive would be additional clutter. Thankfully we did find a solution. There is a registry where cash donations can be made. We’ve decided any money we receive will be donated to a couple of charities we support. One of them being the Black Cat Rescue.
We’re not inviting people for them to give us gifts, or money. We’re inviting them because hey, this is a big deal! We want them there to celebrate with us. We want them to have fun! Maybe see us act a little goofy; step out of our usual comfort zone. Sing, dance, sword fight. THIS is what we invite them for…the rest is just noise.
I understand now why people elope. It is quick and simple and cost effective. You tick everyone off all at once. They can’t get mad because they perceive you playing favorites. No decorations. No invitations. No fancy garb and uncomfortable shoes. Just “I do’s” and it is done.
But….with all of the complaints and frustrations. All of the work and the plotting. There is a moment, when you think about the actual day, and you realize…people who get married have to be crazy! Still… you know you’re going to do it anyway. Simply because it is going to be the best day ever!
Blessed By My Friends!